Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Student Writing

“Anna, stop!” Panic shoots through my mind. 
”Steph, help me,” my blood rises to the surface “St…..” I’m breathless, gravel is taking me further away from Steph, and I’m heading towards the big, sharp boulders. I want to scream but no words come to the opening of my mouth.  I’m panicking;  I wonder what shall I do? It’s a sunny day and we are up high, up in the clouds.  I feel like I’m free falling. What can possibly do?  I can smell all the good things such as nuts and chocolate in the fresh air but I am in a state of panic.  I finally feel a soft, cold hand tighten around my wrist.  Shivers of relief travel over the bumps of my spine.  It’s Steph saving my life.  “I’m, rescued!” I think as she pulls me up to the steps. We keep walking and I am happier than ever, I talk, walk, smile and eat my delicious nuts. I now talk because I have my voice back.  We are back in the car and I say, “that was a scary but fantastic experience.

By Anna

This is what Anna was working towards with this piece:

Learning Intention:
We are learning to apply literary devices using our own experiences to record a moment in our lives.

Success Criteria:
I have written in the present tense;
I have written a start that ‘hooks’ in the reader;
I have included my thoughts and feelings.

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