”Steph, help me,” my blood rises to the surface “St…..” I’m breathless, gravel is taking me further away from Steph, and I’m heading towards the big, sharp boulders. I want to scream but no words come to the opening of my mouth. I’m panicking; I wonder what shall I do? It’s a sunny day and we are up high, up in the clouds. I feel like I’m free falling. What can possibly do? I can smell all the good things such as nuts and chocolate in the fresh air but I am in a state of panic. I finally feel a soft, cold hand tighten around my wrist. Shivers of relief travel over the bumps of my spine. It’s Steph saving my life. “I’m, rescued!” I think as she pulls me up to the steps. We keep walking and I am happier than ever, I talk, walk, smile and eat my delicious nuts. I now talk because I have my voice back. We are back in the car and I say, “that was a scary but fantastic experience.
This is what Anna was working towards with this piece:
We are learning to apply literary devices using our own experiences to record a moment in our lives.
I have written in the present tense;
I have written a start that ‘hooks’ in the reader;
I have included my thoughts and feelings.